


Cursed Time

by NimueOfTheNorth



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: AU, Canon-Typical Violence, Happy Ending, M/M, Magic (sort of), age gap through supernatural circumstances, discussion of 19th century morals, mention of a suicide way back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NimueOfTheNorth/pseuds/NimueOfTheNorth
Summary: Aaron has always wondered why Spencer seems so distant from the world and people around him. That didn't stop him from falling for the younger man. When he finally gets his answer, it's nothing he could have ever expected.Or: The one where Jack accidentally becomes a curse breaker.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Comments: 12
Kudos: 390
Collections: Criminal Minds Reverse Bang 2019





	Cursed Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tkbenjamin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkbenjamin/gifts).



> I was yet again lucky to receive a beautiful piece of artwork from the talented TKBenjamin for this Reverse Bang, and I hope this story does it justice.

Aaron watched through his office window as Reid joked and laughed with Morgan. He found himself watching the younger man whenever a chance presented itself. First, it had been because of his growing attraction, something he’d tried to keep hidden as he’d been unsure how welcome it would be for the longest time. And with Reid being as oblivious as he was to even the more direct overtures thrown his way, subtle attempts to get a reaction out of Reid without making a fool of himself had proven futile.

Aaron had never figured out what had brought about the change in Spencer, but one day he started seeking him out in more personal manners and they’d slowly grown closer to the point that Aaron thought he might get away with asking Spencer out on an actual date.

Then Reid had been trapped in that horrible room, exposed to anthrax, and determined to put any contribution he might be able to give to the case before his personal health. And Aaron had been on the outside, worried to the edge of compromised. Just like Reid, he had put the job first, the hunt for their UnSub before the friend and maybe lover. 

Against all odds, they had both succeeded, yet again. But as the UnSub was cuffed and taken away, Reid was still fighting for his life, and even after the cure had started to work, nobody could say for a while if his recovery would be complete.

Aaron was ashamed to admit that he hadn’t known how to deal with that.

Oh, he had gone straight into organising mode, making sure Reid had the best care possible, his mother’s doctor was informed in case the information leaked to the press, all paperwork with the bureau was filed and so on and so forth.

But emotionally, he hadn't dealt well at all. Coming close to losing someone else who he'd come to care about a great deal, more than he had even recognised up to that point… it had thrown him. And in typical Hotch style, he had retreated into his shell.

Now he was back to watching Spencer, much more aware of the depth of his own emotions and a good deal of worry mixed in on top.

“He’s doing remarkably well,” came Rossi’s voice from the doorway.

“Yes.” Aaron forced his gaze away from the window and focused on his old friend.

“I’d expected him to be off work for longer. It isn’t like he caught the common flu.”

“Once he was over the worst of it, he recovered much faster than anyone expected. Dr Kimura is still intrigued by that, but Reid is uninclined to play guinea pig.”

“That doesn’t surprise me at all,” Dave said with a wry smile. “I heard that she wanted him to stay home for a while longer despite his apparent return to good health.”

“Yes, but he practically begged to be allowed back to work, desk duty if nothing else. You know how Reid’s mind can be. He was probably going stir crazy at home.” Aaron took a sip of his coffee and barely refrained from grimacing at the cold bitterness. He must have been staring out the window longer than he thought.

“Here’s also where you are,” Dave remarked.

“What?” Aaron threw a look at the door, noticing with relief that Dave had closed it behind himself.

"Oh, come on, Aaron! Your mutual pining is really hard to miss, and we're all tired of pretending."

“There is no mutual pining,” Aaron insisted.

“You can call it getting together at the speed of glaciers if you like, but that hardly changes the fact of the matter. What’s up with you? You’re not normally this hesitant about anything.”

"He was so damn young when he joined the team, and with the games Gideon was playing, I thought he needed me to be a solid, reliable presence. That hadn't changed all that much by the time Haley left me, and I allowed myself the attraction to him. He was still so very young and my subordinate."

"An honourable stance to take, not that I'd expect anything less from you, but it's been years, and he's come into his own."

“When it comes to the job, yes. And he’s much better at handling social situations. But when it comes to romance? I made a few subtle approaches over the years, and I don’t think he ever even noticed. He’s this weird contradiction of wearing his heart on his sleeve most times and being completely unreadable at others.”

“That he is,” Dave agreed. “But you two were getting closer. Maybe that was just friendship, but I got the impression that there was more.”

“Yes, I thought so too.”

“And yet, you retreated back to watching distance. So what happened?”

"He almost died. Again," Aaron said softly as if the quietness could take the horror away.

Dave tilted his head, and Aaron knew that nothing he said would stop the scrutiny, so he just endured it. "I understand how terrifying the prospect of such a loss must be to you, but are regrets truly any better?"

Aaron let out a long breath. "If it was only about him and me, I might be a bit more daring. But I have Jack to consider. He already likes his uncle Spencer a lot, he'd go all-in on the attachment front if we were involved."

“Aaron, I don’t have to tell you that in our line of work, there are no guarantees that we’ll make it home by the end of the day. Not for me, not for Spencer, and not for you either.”

"Oh, I know. I never claimed my worries were logical." They sat in silence for a moment, and Aaron knew that Dave was waiting him out. "He's also keeping himself detached, and I don't know what that's about."

“I can’t argue with that. He’s better integrated into the friendship structure of the team now than he used to be, but sometimes you can almost feel the space between him and the others. Many who think he’s somewhere on the Autism spectrum see that as the reason, but you’ve never been a strong believer of that school of thought.”

"No, I haven't. His mind certainly processes input differently, and that leads to atypical reactions sometimes. If that should be considered a form of Autism, I don't know and honestly, don't care. Reid is exactly who he is, and I've always been perfectly fine with who he is. But the holding back part is something else, and I can't put my finger on it."

"Does that make you not trust him?" Dave asked, pointedly.

“No, I’ve never doubted that I could trust Reid with anything, including Jack’s life when it came down to it.”

"Then why should it keep you from pursuing him? Everyone is entitled to some personal secrets, and you clearly don't consider it anything problematic. Maybe, he'll share it with you as your relationship develops, maybe he won't. But don't keep him at arm's length just because you don't know everything about him. That' not fair to either of you."

"What if he keeps holding back when we're dating? What if he never allows that gap to close?" That was the crux for Aaron. He wasn't one for superficial relationships, and he especially wasn't interested in having one with Spencer.

"There's no guarantee, but you'll never know unless you try. It's also not something you can ask in advance because I doubt Reid could tell you how that'll work out. He doesn't have a good frame of reference for how he acts and feels in a long term romantic relationship. I guess the best you can do on your end is open up and hope he does the same in return. And know what you can deal with, and at which point it's healthier for you to walk away."

“And I’d still run the risk of losing a dear friend and possibly an agent in the process.”

"Nothing worth anything is without risk. But only you can tell which risk is easier to bear. Yes, you could lose a friend and team member, but on the other hand, you risk losing something truly wonderful just to preserve the comfortable safety of the status quo." Dave gave him one more _get your act together_ look before he left in favour of his own office.

Dave was right about all of it. But Aaron still wasn’t any closer to a decision.

* * *

Aaron hated this case.

To be fair, he hated all their cases. Each was horrible in its own way, and he’d send anyone who described the hunt for serial killers primarily as exciting for a thorough psych eval. Yes, there was a certain satisfaction in taking an UnSub from the streets, but it was hardly compensation for the terrible rest.

He hated their current case in particular because the moment they stepped onto the kill site Reid’s geographical profile had led them to, he knew they were dealing with a ritual. Only it wasn’t the psyche driven patterns of action most serial killers displayed, and that they called an UnSub’s ritual. No, this crime scene reeked of old magic.

Aaron was no expert on the matter, by anyone's measure, had never received any instruction or practised the art himself. But he had been exposed to a bit of magic as a child, luckily, only the benevolent type. He hadn't fully understood what his uncle had been doing or why his mother had forbidden him any contact once she found out. Only in hindsight, had he put the pieces together. His mother might have been freaked out, but there had been instances over the years when Aaron was sure the protection his uncle had talked about back then was still around him. He definitely remembered enough to recognise the feeling.

The tricky part was how to handle his knowledge when it was impossible to know who you could share it with, or how to use it to the benefit of the case without sharing. It wasn't as if the existence of magic was common or even forgotten knowledge. Magic had stayed in the shadowy corners of every society throughout history.

The team was walking carefully around the clearing and discussing their findings. Aaron was already confident that Morgan, Prentiss and JJ had no clue what they were dealing with. He kept an eye on Rossi, as the man had been around so long, Aaron thought he might have a clue, but his old friend was, as so often, unreadable.

Most curiously, Reid was quiet. He walked the space, taking it all in, and he stopped in spots that didn’t hold any obvious significance, but that Aaron recognised as the points were the power of the ritual would have concentrated. That still was no guarantee that Reid actually knew what he was looking at. There was no telling what detail or pattern he picked up on, but Aaron would keep an even closer eye on him.

Back at the police station, Reid commandeered one of the whiteboards and all the pictures taken for a very detailed reconstruction of the circle.

The rest of the team left him to it and followed up on some other leads and interviews.

They had gathered for a last discussion of everything they had so far before Aaron would send them all off to the hotel for some food and sleep when Reid finally spoke up.

“There is a fundamental disconnect in this MO.”

“Okay, pretty boy, let us in on your wisdom.”

"I wouldn't call it wisdom as I mostly have questions so far and no answers to offer. But everything in the clearing where the victim was killed is highly structured and detail-oriented. I could give you all the mathematical equations that have gone into this, but I know we're all hungry. There were also many difficult to obtain materials used in the ritual." He waved the lab reports of ashes and other residual traces around, that had arrived an hour earlier and that he'd claimed immediately.

“Whoever set up this space, they put a lot of effort and time into it and thought out every detail. Most of these materials have been linked with a variety of techniques bordering magical - think alchemy, the herbal healing often called witchcraft, and even Chinese medicine - and I can mostly see how their supposed properties might relate to one another in the manner they’ve been set up. None of this one would just stumble across, so someone put a lot of research into it.”

“But our victim shows all the signs of random violence bordering on overkill,” Prentiss said. “That speaks to a mindset contrary to what you described. Do you think we’re looking for two UnSubs? One who created the circle and a second who actually killed her? I assume it is unlikely that someone would have left such a carefully prepared space unattended for our killer to find.”

“You’re right about the last bit. From all I could find in the sparse anthropological texts about these traditions, it is highly unlikely that two different persons would prepare and use the circle. A ritual space like this was described as very personal, almost intimate in all the cultures I looked at. What’s a bit scary is that the various components of this ritual all point towards some sort of renewal rite.”

“That doesn’t sound so terrible, more like dancing under a spring moon,” Morgan said when Reid didn’t continue. “But the way you phrased that I’m sure I’m missing something.”

“Yes, well, I found a few references that spoke about how renewal rites could be twisted into something dark but especially powerful if a human sacrifice was included.”

They all let that statement sink in for a moment.

“Right,” Aaron eventually broke the silence. “That’s good work, Reid. Thank you. I don’t see anything we can do about it today, but our first approach tomorrow should be to figure out if our victim might have any leanings towards any of these cultures. Reid, if you could make us a list of the most likely candidates based on your research, that would be helpful. I’d like someone to go through her house again, see if there are any signs that we wouldn’t have picked up on before. And we’ll have to talk to her family and friends again about her lifestyle.”

“Do you think it might have been her circle and the killer took advantage of it, disturbing and highjacking her ritual?” Rossi asked.

“That’s one explanation that would fit the facts as we have them right now. It still wouldn’t tell us if the killer knew what he was doing and targeted her on purpose or if she was just conveniently alone in the woods, but it could at least erase a number of question marks. Because Reid is right in that the crime scene and the actual killing do not fit together at all.”

"We should also go over the other two crime scenes again," Reid suggested. "Nobody was looking for anything ritualistic back then, and the signs can be subtle."

“Which makes you the best person to check those out. The rest of us can only look for the elements you tell us, whereas you can spot all the things you read about,” Prentiss pointed out.

Aaron agreed and gave out more detailed assignments for the next day.

* * *

Now, Aaron had yet another reason to watch Reid. He was going back and forth on whether or not Spencer knew about the existence of old magic or if he only knew what he read about and thought it was all just spiritual constructs people made up for some reason or other. Aaron even started making some careful comments to hint at his own knowledge, but all he got in return were confused looks and raised eyebrows.

It was irritating how one man, a man he’d known for years and spent time with more days than not, could present that many puzzles to him.

It was also endlessly intriguing.

The other two crime scenes their victims had been found at turned out to show signs of ritual preparations as well, so their UnSub was either seeking out such circumstances or it was part of his trigger.

Their interviews with family and friends of the victims confirmed that all three women had been interested and involved in alternative religions that lined up with the specific elements Reid had found where the women died. So the team settled on the assumption that the circles had been prepared by the victims before they were disturbed by the killer, who then bastardised their ritual.

"If we assume that the UnSub is seeking out women preparing for renewal and cleansing rites on purpose to kill them, likely for some kind of gain he perceives he'll be getting that way, that would mean we're looking for someone familiar with the religions and traditions in question. Two of the three rituals were tied to a specific date, and the UnSub would have had to know that to go after the victims that night," Morgan summed up one of their options.

Rossi picked up the thread. "The alternative is that we're dealing with someone who roams the woods in the dark, who stumbled upon these women and their rituals and is somehow triggered by that into killing them. There are too many small and secluded campsites around here for these particular women to be victims of convenience. If it was nothing more than a person alone in the woods for this UnSub to feel comfortable enough to kill than we'd have considerably more victims."

“I think the first option is more likely, actually,” Reid said. “The UnSub isn’t just killing them in their circles, he’s also using the setup, changing things around enough to shift the ritual in nature. They are all small things but taken together, they far exceed the possibility of coincidence. He must be doing it on purpose, implying that he is knowledgeable of the various ritualistic elements.”

“And you said that the changes and the brutal killings all point towards empowering rituals?” Aaron asked.

“Yes. They vary slightly due to the original natures of the circles, but from all I’ve found his adjustments make for rituals intended to either increase a power he has, or give him power from the aether, I guess you could call it, or he means to take power from his victims and transfer it to himself. At least that’s what the descriptions I found imply should happen if one believes such things to be real.”

“Which we have to assume he does,” Aaron finished out the thought. He pulled his phone out and hit the speed dial for Garcia.

“The Oracle is in! How may I help my favourite crime fighters on this fine day?”

“Garcia, I need you to search for men in this area that have looked into anything related to the various religions and rituals Reid emailed you about. If they belong to groups or forums online, any book purchases… Whatever you can find. We’re looking less for the person casually interested after seeing a TV report on the subject and more at someone who goes all out on researching a subject.”

“Think our very own genius but with a dark edge, mama,” Morgan suggested and earned himself a glare without heat from Reid.

“Ah, I get what you’re saying, my chocolate god. Anything else?”

“No, Garcia, that’s all for now.”

"I shall type like the wind and call you posthaste, my fearless leader."

Two hours later, her searches had gotten them the name of a man who had recently lost his job and been left by his wife in a short time span. Further investigations into his online habits implied he was struggling with erectile dysfunction, a detail that matched their initial profile.

His twitter feed read like a textbook case of a man who attributed all the failings in his life on his impotence, paired with an unhealthy dose of misogyny. He ranted about the disloyalty of his former wife for leaving him and blamed his impotence as the sole reason.

Aaron had a short conversation with her over the phone as she had moved to a different state, and given what she told him, Aaron was certain the UnSub's impotence was the smallest issue in their marriage. The woman had probably gotten out of a terrible and dangerous situation just in time.

Unfortunately, the man had stumbled upon some very crude instructions on how to ritualistically restore his sexual prowess and had proceeded to brutally killing their three victims.

“If this gave this guy a boner at all, then it’s because he’s getting off on the violence, nothing else,” Morgan had grumbled reading through the forum Garcia had sent them. “But either way, he’s not going to stop unless we stop him.”

“Agreed.” Prentiss had been reading along over his shoulder and straightened up to look at Aaron. “Any word on where we can find him?”

“He lost his house during the divorce and is apparently living in his car. Given his hunting grounds it’s likely he’s parked it somewhere in the woods, so I have all the park rangers and local police available searching for the car. They all have orders not to engage and call us.”

It ended up being a ranger who found their UnSub and apart from a short sprint through the trees as he tried to flee, the arrest was rather anticlimactic—the man was nowhere near fit enough to outrun Morgan and Aaron.

They stayed to do the interview and secure a confession by the end of which Morgan had one more question apparently burning under his nails.

“So, why did you do it? Why did you think magic of all things would help you solve your little problem?”

“You don’t believe it, do you, Agent Morgan? But I have seen things, things that they don’t want us to see. Powers that hide in the shadows. Why shouldn’t I have my share of that? Why shouldn’t I get to fix my life with this power? When those hippie chicks got to use it to bless the earth and make flowers bloom and other nonsense? That’s why men should be in control of such things. Women just ruin and waste it all away!”

Aaron motioned Morgan out of the room ahead of him and left the murderer to his ranting. There was nothing more they could learn from him.

“What a total nutjob.” Morgan was shaking his head. “Actually believing in magic, now that’s unusual even for our clientele.”

"What, Morgan? Is there no room in your world for a touch of magic?" Rossi teased good-naturedly.

"Yes, Derek, don't be so narrow-minded," Spencer chimed in with an innocent smile. "As even the great Shakespeare wrote _There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy_.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll stick a little closer to empirical evidence.”

* * *

Most of the flight home had been filled with a friendly discussion about the possibilities of magic being real and staying hidden, and all the problems that would create. Aaron had paid extra close attention to everything Spencer contributed. Reid, in turn, had thrown him looks Aaron couldn't readily decipher, so by the end of it, he was still none the wiser.

So it was that he found himself knocking on Spencer’s apartment door on a Saturday afternoon.

“Hotch. I didn’t expect you.” There was no reprimand in Spencer’s voice, just mild curiosity.

"Yeah, sorry for dropping in unannounced. I should have called. It's just… Can we talk?" In the minute it took Spencer to answer, Aaron was doubting his decision and was about to take his leave again. Let things rest and get on with his life.

“So, it’s finally time for us to have that discussion, is it?” Spencer asked in an oddly soft tone that wasn’t quite resignation. “I was wondering if it would ever happen.” He walked away and left the door open, enough of an invitation for Aaron to follow him inside. “Tea? I just made a pot.”

“Yes, thank you.” Aaron settled in on the couch, in the corner he always sat in when he used to come over more regularly because Spencer preferred the other side. He knew it couldn’t be real, but the couch felt a lot less comfortable than in his memory.

Spencer returned from the kitchen with an extra cup and poured and doctored tea for Aaron, just the way he liked it. Aaron cradled the cup in his hands and stared into the liquid like it could give him the answers he was hoping for.

It was Spencer who finally broke the silence. “You know, I always expected there to be a lot more talking involved when we got this far.”

Aaron snorted. “Would you believe me that now that I’ve gotten to the point of actually asking you, I no longer know what question I should be asking in the first place?”

“Hmmm.” Spencer took a sip of his tea. “It would probably help if I knew what the options are. Maybe I could help you.”

Aaron swallowed heavily and took a deep breath. "What is it that you keep a secret, and that makes you hold back from everyone? Is there a chance we could start something romantic? And the latest addition—what do you know about the reality of magic?" He looked up at Spencer at that last one and found his face unmoving and neutral. But there was something in Spencer's eyes that went deeper than Aaron thought he'd ever seen before.

After long moments, Spencer got up and curled up in the armchair he had close to the window to read in the sun. He stared outside though Aaron would have bet that his focus was far away from the neighbouring house.

“What if I told you that all three questions lead to the same answer, the same point in my life?”

“I’d be relieved.”

“Relieved?” Spencer’s gaze focused on him in surprise.

“Yes, relieved. One point to deal with is always easier than three.”

That made Spencer’s lips twitch in the approximation of a smile. “Aaron Hotchner. Always the pragmatist. Can I ask how you know about magic first? You were just as cagey during the case as I was, but you believed that whole line of reasoning a little too easily.”

Aaron finally took a sip of his tea as well. "I don't actually know all that much. I certainly never had any kind of formal or practical instructions in any of the many forms magic takes. But one of my uncles dabbled in it. Strictly speaking, he was a distant cousin, but I called him uncle. He didn't live far from us, and I was allowed to visit him with some of the other children from the extended family during our summer holidays. He was everything my parents were not, and I greatly enjoyed those visits. They were a touch of freedom.

"One of those summers, he asked us if we wanted to do a little magic with him. I must have been eight. We were, of course, super excited by the prospect, even if it were just a game, which I'm sure we all believed it to be. We helped him gather various things to build a circle, and he gave us all this powder to draw out the pattern on the grass. It all felt so important, and we were included and taken seriously when our parents - mine especially - always excluded us from everything."

Aaron fell quiet. It was never easy to talk about his childhood, but Spencer knew enough to understand.

“What kind of ritual did you build?”

"My uncle said it would bless us with nature's protection, and that's what it felt like, like a blanket of safety was being wrapped around me. And somewhere deep down, I just knew it was real, that this wasn't a game or make-believe. And I've never doubted that knowledge ever since. 

"I didn't tell my parents anything about it, but one of the other kids must have told theirs, and from there it made the rounds. My mother was absolutely furious. I wasn't allowed to visit my uncle again after that, and he died before I was old enough to ignore my parents on the matter. I managed to exchange a few letters with him when I was at boarding school, but I'm afraid I was a rather typical teenager when it came to writing letters," Aaron added with a wry smile. "That was my only proper exposure to magic, but I've come across it a few times during my career, and the feeling is hard to miss, even if the nature of the magic in question is entirely different."

Spencer let Aaron’s story sink in and rested his eyes on him in one of those deep probing looks that seemed to cut down to the very core of Aaron’s soul.

“I’m sorry you lost contact with your uncle over this experience,” was what Spencer eventually settled on. “He sounds like a good person that could have added some lightness to your life growing up. I wish my own first exposure to the magic in our world would have been as positive.”

Spencer fell quiet again, and Aaron wasn't sure if he even wanted to ask given Reid's propensity for bad luck.

“When I was 23, I was cursed.”

“But… You were already a member of the BAU at that point.” Aaron couldn’t figure out how something so fundamental could have happened to Spencer right under his nose without him noticing. He’d never felt any change in Spencer since he first met him.

Spencer snorted. "Nobody had even voiced the vaguest idea of the FBI when I turned 23, let alone the BAU. I was born in 1811, just outside Oxford."

Aaron was gobsmacked, least of all by the startling change in Spencer’s accent, and judging by Spencer’s amused smile he looked it. Then, Aaron burst out laughing.

“That is not the reaction I expected. Care to share what’s so funny?” One of Spencer’s eyebrows was rapidly climbing towards his hairline.

"Sorry! It's just-" Aaron had to take a deep breath to get enough of a hold of himself to form proper sentences. "To think that one of my biggest obstacles to approaching you in a romantical context was how much younger than me you are. And now you tell me this!" He relaxed back into the couch still chuckling, and this time Spencer joined him.

“Yes, I can see your point. Am I to feel like the dirty old man now instead?”

“Oh, please, don’t!” Aaron shuddered at the thought. It messed with his self-image on a fundamental level he hadn’t expected.

“I shall endeavour to think of you as an equal, then.”

Aaron groaned for entirely different reasons. “I’m glad you can’t whip that accent out in public without blowing your cover. It’s dead sexy.”

Spencer’s smile was equal parts evil and promising.

“Did we just conveniently negate the whole to date or not to date issue?” Reid asked.

“I think we might have, yes.”

Spencer let out a deep breath and grew sober. “You might want to reserve your judgement on that until you know the whole truth.”

“Will you tell me about the curse then?”

“Yes, I don’t think we can move forward without it.” Spencer was impossibly still and stared out the window again. “But I haven’t spoken about it in a very long time, more than a century, in fact.”

"That's so weird to think about that you've lived long enough for such a statement to be true."

“And yet, you believe me without hesitation.”

“Yes,” Aaron confirmed. “I can even feel it around you, now that I know what to look for. I didn’t catch it at first, because it’s sort of blended into the background of who you are and it’s been there as long as I’ve known you. I always felt that you were different, on a deeper level than just intellectually knowing that you were more than a bit above average, but I chalked it all up to your genius and didn’t dig any deeper. That’s on me.”

"Don't feel too bad about it. I've learned over the years that static magic like curses or blessings literally blends with a person over time which makes them less noticeable. And my curse had a long time to blend with me."

“Many people would consider immortality a blessing," Aaron said neutrally. He didn't agree with the statement even on a theoretical basis, and he'd never argue with Spencer about how he interpreted his own existence. He just wanted to prod the conversation along down a path Spencer clearly wasn't eager to walk. Then a question suddenly occurred to him. "Do you know if you are truly immortal or are you just ageing very slowly and can still die?"

“It’s hard to say for certain, but I think it’s unlikely. I’ve managed to avoid any severe trauma like fatal falls or gunshot wounds, but I have been on death’s door more than once due to illness and such, and I always survived, even when it was beyond unlikely. I even recover faster once I’m out of critical condition.”

"Like Hankel managed to revive you even though his CPR technique was terrible and how you just seemed to shake off the after-effects of anthrax," Aaron observed, putting pieces of the puzzle together.

“Yes. Hankel was the first time that I know for certain that my heart stopped, so I can’t be sure if he managed to save me after all or if the curse did. Despite everything, I have no inclination to make an effort at dying so only time will tell.”

“Was that the intention behind the curse? I never thought magic was quite that powerful.”

“While I don’t doubt the ill intent of the caster, I can’t imagine she was aware of the scope of what she was doing.”

Spencer drained his cup and got up. “This requires more tea. Would you like more as well?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

When Spencer returned from the kitchen, he settled in the armchair again but turned in Aaron's direction.

Aaron held up a hand to make him wait a moment longer “Can I ask one more question before you start?”

“Of course.”

"How do you deal with living that long? I mean, we all like to moan about time passing by and faster every year, how ageing sucks and so many parts of our culture come down to us attempting to cheat death in some manner. But the passing of time and its finiteness are so fundamental, I can't conceptualise how to live without it."

"You never go for the easy parts, do you?" Spencer sighed. "It's difficult to describe my experiences, but I don't perceive time the same anymore. I don't know if my mind adjusted to my experiences, or if that's part of the curse. I intellectually know how much time has passed, I can remember every day of it, all the events, changes and developments I witnessed. But I don't feel like that time has passed for me. It's probably a little bit like how time seems to fly by when you're really enjoying something because that time doesn't drag you down. It's like that for me, no matter the emotional quality of my life. The odd result is that I might technically be 201 years old, but I feel no older than maybe around forty."

“That’s such an odd thought. Thanks for the explanation.”

"I don't feel like I did a very good job of it, but it isn't like I have anything to build on. I've never found any case like mine, so I'm essentially making up the language for these matters." Spencer shrugged helplessly.

"You did a pretty good job of it, and I'm more interested in your experience than what anybody else might have to say. But I believe you wanted to tell me the whole story of what happened."

"Right. The story starts when I was twelve, I guess. I was set to start university that fall, having outgrown both the family library and all my tutors, including my parents. I was fortunate to be born into a well-to-do family to parents who highly valued education and recognised my potential early on. Father taught law at Oxford University, and Mother did a lot of charity work around better education for girls. Through that charity work, I met a girl, Anne, who was four years younger than me. But unlike most children, she didn't think me weird but was rather fascinated. We managed to become friends. What I didn't catch on to for a long time, was that Anne was harbouring what we'd call a crush nowadays."

"So you've always been oblivious on that front. That's rather charming," Aaron teased.

"So glad to contribute to your amusement. But yes, I was always clueless on that front. What I did manage to figure out over the following few years was that I wasn't all that interested in girls, to begin with. Not the easiest realisation to come to in that day and age, but there it was. It didn't really matter at the time, as I was burying myself in my studies and books. I quickly became the favourite of the librarians as I read my way through the collection and became a walking catalogue of obscure details.

"The older I got, the more I played up the distracted academic so people wouldn't wonder why I wasn't chasing after girls like other boys my age. It worked well enough but didn't fool my parents, or at least not my mother. For my eighteenth birthday I had resolved to confess the truth, so they wouldn't start looking into suitable matches for me on the marriage market, as I had no interest in such things. My mother just smiled and told me she'd known all along and that it didn't matter. My father had this pinched look about him that said volumes about the behaviour my mother had demanded of him for just this occurrence."

“Your parents sound like wonderful people,” Aaron said. “Their reaction is much better than what I would have expected at the time. It’s actually better than what my own parents would have had to say.”

Spencer just nodded. “It is sad that as a whole we’ve made so little progress in this area. I know how lucky I was that I could even consider being open about this with my parents. It probably helped that my oldest brother had already produced an heir and a spare for the family name.”

“You had brothers?”

“Yes, and a sister. I was the youngest by quite a bit. Richard had two sons and a daughter at that point. He and his wife would be blessed with three more children that all made it to adulthood. Edward had lost his first wife and daughter in childbirth and spent a long time grieving, but had recently gotten engaged for the second time. Katherine had married just the year before and announced that she was expecting a few weeks earlier. I’m sure my father had an easier time accepting my preferences and choices because there was already a new generation that would carry on the Reid name,” Spencer explained, smiling at the fond memories of his siblings, nieces and nephews.

“So Reid is your real name,” Aaron observed.

"Yes. Diana is a many great-grandniece descending from Edward. She insisted on keeping her name when she married William, yet another thing he resented, I'm sure. The family has been circling around me all this time, and one or the other provided me with the necessary relations to establish a new identity. Spencer has become a very prominent name in our family tree because I like to have it at least as a middle name. And in Diana's case, it turned out in her favour as well, as I was available to make the necessary decisions about her care when she no longer could, and her useless, cowardly husband just walked away." 

A sheepish smile stretched over Spencer’s lips. “I’m not sure I should admit this to a federal agent and former prosecutor, but I’ve become quite adept at manipulating public records.”

“I hadn’t even thought this far,” Aaron admitted. “But it’s obvious that you’d have to learn how to navigate and manipulate the system. I hope you know that your secret is safe with me.”

“Of course. We wouldn’t have this kind of storytime if I thought otherwise.” Spencer took a healthy sip of his tea. “Anyway, my parents were happy to let me go unwed as long as I kept any liaisons with men discreet - a given, as I wasn’t interested in ending up in prison. The persona of the hyper-focused academic I had already cultivated helped to keep rumours at bay.

"I can't say that there wasn't the occasional young woman who expressed an interest, but they all gave up soon enough if I proved oblivious to their advances, Anne being the notable exception. I'd started to distance myself from her, despite missing her friendship, but eventually, my mother took me aside and told me I had to be more clear with the girl, as she was growing rather obsessed with the idea of becoming Mrs Spencer Reid." He let out a sigh and sipped more tea.

“How old were you?”

"Twenty three and groomed to take over the professorship of one of my mentors who was about ready to retire. There was a tradition in our social circle that everyone between sixteen and thirty went on a big evening picnic on midsummer. The parents expected the married couples amongst us to act as chaperones, which worked as well as you would imagine. Anne was even less subtle in her flirting that night, and I used that chance in front of a large number of witnesses to tell her politely but firmly that I wasn't interested. She managed to keep it together, but I could tell that she was hurt and angry. I didn't stay very long that night, both because the altercation made me uncomfortable and, quite frankly, there was someone I wanted to have a bit of a private party with."

“Good for you,” Aaron said with a smile. The last thing he wanted if they started something serious was for Spencer to think he couldn’t talk openly about his past, especially a past before Aaron was even born.

“Yes, well. It also means that I know the next part only from hearsay.” He swallowed and stared down at his tea. “One of the other guys was set to leave to start serving in the Navy just days later. As many a sailor before and after him, he was looking to have a good time, and Anne, in her frustration, had indulged in a little more of the punch than was appropriate. Combined with my rejection, it made her an easy target for his seduction, that’s the only explanation I can come up with. And as these things tend to go, Anne fell pregnant, and he was long gone and at sea by the time she noticed.”

Aaron sucked in a breath, seeing the clouds gathering over Spencer’s story.

“Yes, of course, you can guess the difficult situation that put her in. The real troubles started due to the way she chose to solve that problem. Because her first inclination was to go straight to my parents.”

“What did she hope to accomplish by that?” Aaron had a terrible suspicion but didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

"She spun them this big lie that I had changed my mind and promised her marriage. That she had believed me and given into my… demands, and now a wedding should happen sooner rather than later." The hurt those lies inspired in Spencer was still evident in his tone, even after all this time. "Of course, my parents didn't believe a single word she said, but my mother was a savvy one and said all the right things to Anne without committing to anything. She wanted to talk to me first, hear how I wanted to handle this situation.

"Mother was deeply disappointed by Anne after everything she'd done for the girl over the years. Anne's father had managed to lose practically all their fortune before leaving his wife a widow with three daughters, so Anne owed her public standing as a good catch largely to my mother's support. My father mostly worried what a scandal of this kind might do to my reputation and how it would reflect on the rest of the family. The Reids spent generations establishing themselves as honourable and trustworthy; we took great pride in that." Spencer fell quiet, lost in thought.

“What did you want to do?” Aaron eventually prodded gently.

"Oh, it became a whole family meeting kind of thing, but I wasn't willing to give in to her demands. There were some concerns that it would be her word against mine, especially if we couldn't point to another possible father. That was until Katherine pointed out that Anne left the midsummer picnic with that sailor. You see, all of my siblings were already too old to have been at that event, but Katherine's sister in law had come to live with them and help with the children, and she'd attended and shared all the gossip."

Aaron chuckled. “Some things are truly timeless.”

"Yes, and in this case, it worked in our favour, indeed. I made it clear that I would rather publicly admit to my homosexuality than allow myself to be pressured into a marriage. I could tell that my brothers weren't pleased by that prospect, but that they'd support me anyway. So Anne was invited for a conversation. Let's just say it didn't go well." Spencer let out a deep breath.

“You don’t have to tell me all the details, you know,” Aaron tried to reassure him. Of all the things he had imagined this conversation to yield, dragging up painful old memories hadn’t been on the list.

"No, it's alright. It's been a long time." Spencer set aside his cup, straightened in his seat and looked Aaron square in the face. "She threatened to create a public scandal and drag my name and that of our whole family through the mud if I didn't marry her. My mother told her to go right ahead, see which way public opinion would swing, and get herself labelled a slut in the process either way. I had never heard my mother use such language before; she was livid, to say the least.

“I’ve always been very grateful for my family but never more so than in the weeks that followed. They started an outright campaign amongst our friends and acquaintances, told everyone that Anne had been angling for a marriage proposal and was now proving a sore loser and telling lies. What I hadn’t expected was how many attendees from that midsummer picnic spoke up in public about me turning her down and her vanishing with another man.”

“You must have hated being the centre of attention like that,” Aaron offered. “I can’t imagine you were any less private back then.”

“You’d be right. The most mortifying moment was when the dean of the university called me into his office and asked me outright if there was anything to those rumours that I had gotten a girl pregnant and refused to marry her. I told him outright that I had no interest in women and had never touched one intimately. He looked at me in this knowing way and after a few endless moments just said that he’d never known me to conduct myself anything but properly in public and that he expected that not to change. And that was the end of it on that front. He wasn’t the type to make any big announcements on such matters, but his quiet approval and continued trust in me went a long way in the court of public opinion.

"People enjoyed the chance to gossip, of course, they did, but the verdict came down in my favour pretty much unanimously. It destroyed Anne." Spencer was staring at his hands.

“What happened next?”

"She drowned herself." Spencer choked on the words and his eyes filled with tears. "The whole affair had cut her out of even the less polite society, and she had no prospects left. My mother had been right, of course, people as a whole blamed her for sleeping around and getting pregnant out of wedlock. They said outright that she'd only gotten what she deserved, even after she was dead. The coroner labelled her death an accident so she could be buried in sacred ground - for the poor soul of the baby, that's what everyone said. They all knew she must have gone into the water on purpose, judging by where she was found."

Without even thinking about what he was doing, Aaron found himself kneeling in front of Spencer's chair, covering his hands with one of his own as he brushed a single tear from his cheek. "It's not your fault, you know that, right? You had no hand in any of the things that happened, and she made all her own choices. I'm not saying that she deserved any of it, but neither were you responsible for her fate in any way."

"Intellectually, yes, I do know that. But in many ways, she was a victim of circumstances. Anne was a bright young girl that I considered a friend, even though I had pulled back from her in the last few years. She wasn't some evil, wretched human being out to get my money or any such scheme. She had gotten her feelings hurt, had made an ill-considered choice and now found herself in a desperate situation. I just wish she'd come to me as a friend and asked for my help."

“What would that have changed?”

“I wouldn’t have been opposed to a marriage of convenience as long as we both went into it on equal footing. Anne was clever and creative. We never had problems keeping a conversation going. I could have built a life with her if we were honest about our expectations. And I wasn’t unsympathetic to her plight. I never bought into those sanctimonious sexual morals that mostly seemed to be punishing women. Maybe I was more sensitive to the matter because of how the same morals would have judged my own proclivities had they become known, I don’t know. But I adored my nieces and nephews and could have raised and loved another man’s child as my own.

“But I couldn’t allow myself to be blackmailed into a marriage. What kind of fundament would that have given us? How toxic would our interactions have become in years to come? Why couldn’t she just ask for help, for fuck’s sake!”

Aaron barked out a short laugh he simply couldn’t contain.

“What’s so funny about this?”

"I'm sorry it really isn't funny. But you sounded so much like a 19th-century English gentleman throughout the whole story, that hearing you say the word fuck like that just completely startled me."

That at least got a wry half-smile from Spencer. 

“Did public opinion change after Anne ended her life? Did people hold you responsible then?”

“No. It isn’t like they looked on suicide any more favourably than on premarital sex.”

Spencer fell quiet again, seemingly lost in thought and Aaron pulled the coffee table closer so he could sit on it, unwilling to put distance between them again.

"How did all of this lead to you being cursed?" The whole story about Spencer's true origins was fascinating, and Anne's fate absolutely tragic, but none of it explained Spencer's continued existence.

"Well," Spencer took a deep breath. "The one person who did hold me responsible was Anne's older sister, Miriam. She blamed me pretty much for every step along the way, starting with the fact that I didn't do what was expected of eligible bachelors and just let myself be manoeuvred into a good match. In Miriam's eyes, the root of her sister's demise was my rejection of her advances, which she thought was based on some form of arrogance.

"One day, a few weeks after Anne's death, when the public conversation was starting to forget her and moved on to the next big topic, Miriam confronted me in the street. She'd vented her grief at me more than once before, but this seemed different from the beginning. I couldn't properly explain what it was, but there were a purpose and an energy about her that day.

"She didn't start yelling or try to slap me, she was just oddly focused and her voice was like nothing I had ever heard before. The moment she began to speak, I felt like a storm was blowing over me, only that it didn't ruffle my clothes or hair at all. I've always been good about remembering words, but hers from that day are practically burned into my memory.

“ _You think yourself so superior in your detachment from us mere mortals. You forget that time and life move on for the rest of us while you read your precious books. You allow no one close enough to share your holy halls of wisdom. Your choice shall forever be your curse and never shall a child claim you its father!_

"Then she just turned around on her heel and walked away through the baffled passers-by, her head held high and calm as you please."

Aaron mulled over the words Spencer had quoted. “Do you think she meant the _forever_ to make you immortal?” he eventually asked.

Spencer quirked his lips up in another half-smile. "I shouldn't be surprised that you caught on to that so quickly. And no, I don't think she meant it quite like that. I met her again many years later when it was more than obvious that I wasn't ageing. She was shocked and kinda disappointed. She said she should have phrased it differently and included me growing old and miserable. But then she just shrugged her shoulder as if it truly didn't matter and walked away."

“Hm,” Aaron hummed with a frown, still putting together the pieces. “So, is it just the immortality?”

"No, that isn't even the first thing we've noticed," Spencer said with a sigh. "I was always happy in the company of my books, numbers and experiments, and tended to forget the time, but I was also always close to my family and a fair amount of friends. My parents instilled the social graces of our time in all of us children. As much as I was removed from my age group when it came to matters of education, they insisted that I participate in all the other social activities and learn how to conduct myself in such situations. And through that, I had formed a fair number of close friendships and a large circle of acquaintances. All of a sudden, I started to struggle to keep those connections up. Before, I would feel a need or wish to spend time with others outside the university, and now, I couldn't be bothered anymore. 

"Over the next year, I grew almost apathetic about other people, and when it started to affect my relationship with my family, I became truly scared. I had to consciously force myself to spend time with my parents and siblings, play with my nieces and nephews, tell them stories - all things that I used to do automatically. I spoke to my mother about it, and we came up with one theory after the other, none of which involved magic, why would they. The best we could think of to tackle it was to make a strict schedule for me to get in family time, make it a set task. It helped, I think because I formed habits around it and those took over somewhat where the emotional connections were eroding. It was still scary to feel more and more distant from the people I still loved and who very obviously loved me." Spencer's voice was rich with the pain of the experience, and Aaron hated to be the one to have brought it up.

“But the emotions were still there? You still loved the people close to you?” he asked, needing the verification.

"Yes, very much so. But at the same time, it felt like a veil was hanging between me and the world, especially other people as if I was somehow cut off from everyone. I could also still develop feelings for new people, but I had the hardest time establishing an actual connection to them. Most people aren't willing to put in all the work to create such a relationship, and I don't blame them. It's normally the sign of a very unbalanced and unhealthy relationship if all the work rests on the shoulders of just one side. I also lost existing friendships over this issue, as I was ashamed to explain it to all but very few friends; not that I could explain much, to begin with."

Aaron nodded his understanding. Friendships just weren’t unconditional, there needed to be some degree of give and take. “How did you figure out that you had been cursed? I gather from what you said so far that the existence of magic wasn’t exactly on your radar.”

"Hardly, no. I stumbled over that information quite by accident. By that time, I had already started to suspect that I wasn't ageing normally anymore. The men in our family tend to go grey early on, and I already had the first few grey hairs, but rather than progressing, not a single new one had appeared in a few years. There was a market in a village that Katherine had dragged me along for, and one of the booths was of an old woman we all knew lived in a small hut in one of the surrounding woods. It was all very cliché, and as a result, everyone called her the herb witch because she grew, dried and sold herbs and remedies, but no one but the children believed her to be an actual witch; it was just a name that had stuck. 

“So on this market, that woman took one look at me and clapped her hands together with a headshake. _Oh, dearie, that doesn't look good, not good at all. Do you even know what hit you?_ She said in this truly upset tone. You can imagine how baffled I was. Luckily Katherine was much more pragmatic about it and arranged for the old woman to join the whole family for tea the next Sunday. And that's when we all learned about magic and that I had been cursed. It wasn't difficult to tie it back to Miriam, she had used the actual word _curse_ after all.”

“Could she offer you any hope to lift the curse?”

“No. She said that it had to be done either by the caster - which we all thought highly unlikely - or that alternately, magic usually had an inherent point from which to resolve it, something to negate it, like a condition that might get broken or fulfilled. But she couldn’t offer any insights into what might act in that capacity in my case. It isn’t like I could undo Anne’s fate. But at least I now understood what was going on and I went into research mode.”

Aaron chuckled. “Of course, you did. And Oxford offered you one of the biggest libraries to do so at the time. But how does one go about finding information about magic in the honourable Bodleian?”

“One has read a great many of the books on the shelves and became the librarians’ favourite while still a teenager.” Spencer was smiling now. “I followed all the odd references and side notes that I had ignored as fantasies and superstition during earlier reads. I asked some careful questions and got pointed towards a few hidden books that weren’t listed in the catalogue, knowledge the librarians kept both alive and out of sight of the public. I learned a lot about the undercurrents of our world so few know about.”

“But none of it helpful to you,” Aaron surmised sadly.

"No, nothing so far. I kept searching over the decades, and the internet has created a whole new way for people involved in magic to connect both for good and bad. But the community is also very fragmented by nature, and there isn't one big network that connects all the pockets together. Still, I could easily give Garcia a run for her money scouring the darknet, but it hasn't offered me a solution yet, and at this point, I don't expect that to change. The curse will resolve itself or not; I can't spend my time focused on it, or I'll stop living altogether. "

“It certainly explains how you can be equally emotionally invested in our little team family and appear so distant from many everyday situations at the same time,” Aaron mused, the picture slowly coming together in his mind.

"And that's where we reach full circle to the question of whether or not a romantic relationship between us is viable. I care for you a great deal, Aaron, and for some reason, it was easier to form an attachment to you than with anybody else in the last 150 years. But I cannot promise to put in the amount of effort such a relationship requires and deserves. I'm prone to get lost in intellectual tangents and seemingly no longer care about the people around me. And there is the logistical issue that I'm not ageing, and though I have learned to mask my unchanging age to a certain degree, there will inevitably come the moment when I can no longer divert suspicion and have to move on and start over again. How can I ask you or anyone to put up with all of that?"

“How can anyone ask you to give up all that defines us as human beings, as social creatures that form relationships of all kinds? Our ability to form attachments defines us and being prevented from doing so can be detrimental.” Aaron fought with his need to fix things, make them right. But faced with everything Spencer had told him, he didn’t have much hope. How could he beat decades of research by one of the most brilliant and dedicated minds he’d ever encountered. “That you made that kind of existence work and still are so full of compassion is astonishing. It sounds incredibly lonely.”

Spencer just shrugged. “The fact that I was cursed does not give me the right to knowingly inflict painful situations on others. Engaging in superficial relationships for the most part simply was the safer way to go about it. But please don’t kid yourself into thinking I lived in celibacy for more than a century, Aaron. I’m much more pragmatic about my needs.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you,” Aaron said with an easy smile. “I never took you as some blushing virgin, the way most of the others see you. That you aren’t the type to go trawling the clubs on any available weekend doesn’t translate to any sort of abstinence. And you never struck me as a prude.”

“Yeah, you always seemed to see me in more depth than others, maybe because you’re such a private and reserved person yourself. I know that people come to weird and wrong conclusions about you all the time as well.” Spencer fell quiet and looked expectantly at Aaron. There was a heartbreaking mixture of hope and hesitation in his eyes that Aaron desperately wanted to resolve.

The issue was that Spencer was right, his circumstances put many new problems on the table if they pursued a romantic relationship, problems that made their apparent age gap and status as subordinate and superior look inconsequential. And he owed it to Spencer to give these matters adequate thought rather than jumping in blindly.

“If it were just me, I’d be all in on dating you. I don’t think that I have a complete grasp of all that would entail, but I doubt that’s even possible. Your situation is so unique, what would I base my assumptions on? What makes me hesitate is that whatever we do will inevitably affect Jack.”

“I understand, Aaron. Your son should always be your first priority and quite frankly, how much you love Jack is part of what makes you so attractive.” Spencer was falling in on himself, shutting Aaron out already.

“Hey, not so fast! I said _hesitate_ , not _no_. I haven’t made up my mind yet, it’s still all sinking in. One thing I know for sure: if anyone is worth this kind of risk, it’s you.” Aaron tried to give Spencer a reassuring smile but could tell it didn’t quite have the intended effect.

“Thank you, Aaron. And I’m sorry if I seem to give up on the possibility of dating you all too easily, but… I’ve grown accustomed to guarding my heart. Between feeling so distant from everything and the impracticality of lasting relationships, it was easy and the most reasonable thing to do. And I can’t even fathom the idea of something casual with you, that’s just completely out of the question. I’d rather keep you as a friend than have a fling turn sour.”

“I understand and agree. Can I… Can you give me a few days to think this all through? It’s been a lot to take in and a very fundamental shift in perspective.”

“Yeah, sure. I have literally all the time in the world,” Spencer said with a sad laugh.

Aaron got up but rather than straightening up all the way, he leaned forward until he was well and truly in Spencer's personal space. He waited a moment, giving Spencer the chance to pull away, but when nothing happened, he leaned even closer and pressed a kiss against Spencer's cheek.

“Thank you. For trusting me with the truth and with your heart. I will cherish both, no matter what’s next.” Walking out of the apartment was difficult, but Aaron couldn’t form any kind of decision right now. He’d come here hoping for one sort of answers and had ended up with entirely different ones that didn’t fit the original picture.

* * *

It had been almost two weeks since Aaron had learned about Spencer's unusual circumstances, and he still hadn't made up his mind. Spencer was good about leaving him to his thoughts, but Aaron was very aware just how much time he spent looking at Spencer and how often Spencer caught him at it when he threw his own glances Aaron's way.

Dave was regularly rolling his eyes at Aaron but had so far not pestered him about it again. But Morgan was catching on as well, and if he decided to butt in on it, the delicate balance would be disturbed, and Aaron's hand forced.

He was running out of time. And wasn’t that ironic.

Aaron kept playing out situations in his head, possible futures of them being together, leaving DC and the FBI at some point and starting a new life elsewhere. He had no clue how to even do that without an organisation like WitSec, but he trusted that Spencer could facilitate it after all he’d said. He imagined growing older with an eternally young Spencer by his side, a partner he wouldn’t lose to time and death. So many implications of this image were somewhere along the lines of awkward to cringe-worthy. And Aaron still didn’t know how to explain any of this to Jack and make sure he didn’t slip up and told someone.

But the alternatives he tried to play out was even less appealing. Keeping their status quo until Spencer had to leave and continue on under a new identity, somewhere else, far from Aaron. Maybe, if he were lucky, Spencer would agree to stay penpals and keep in touch that way. It sounded like a nightmare.

He was frowning at his blotter as his thoughts had drifted away from his paperwork yet again.

“You know what it boils down to?” Dave’s voice drifted over from the doorway.

Aaron looked up but didn't offer anything in reply. Dave didn't want an answer anyway, he wanted to say what he thought Aaron needed to hear, and at this point, Aaron didn't even mind. Maybe his old friend managed to hit the right angle even without knowing the scope of the problem.

“There is no unicorn, no perfect solution,” Dave continued. “You have to decide which version of imperfect you can live with easier. And then you just make the best of the issues that arise from that choice. That’s how life tends to work in my experience.” He turned away and headed to his own office, leaving Aaron staring at the open door instead.

After a few minutes, he snorted and shook his head. This ability of Dave's was uncanny, but he had yet again managed to put his finger on precisely the right spot, and the moment he'd said it, Aaron had known exactly which version of the futures he'd imagined he wanted to live with, and which one he wanted to avoid at all costs.

Turning back to his files was easy after this, and he made good progress on building the stack in his outbox.

When Spencer came up later to drop off his own paperwork for the day, Aaron gestured for him to close the door and take a seat in the small sitting area.

Spencer raised an eyebrow in question. “Should I get myself a fresh cup of coffee for this conversation?”

“No, I don’t think this requires caffeine, just a touch of comfort,” Aaron offered with a smile as he settled onto the couch himself.

Spencer took the other end of the same couch, a choice that made Aaron happier than such a little thing should.

"Okay then, what's up?" Spencer was a study in relaxation, but Aaron could see the anticipation in his eyes.

“I was wondering if you were available for a date this Saturday. As always, assuming we don’t catch a case.”

“A date. On Saturday." It wasn't quite a question, but Aaron nodded his confirmation all the same. "Are you sure, Aaron?" This time the question was much bigger than the words would let you assume.

Aaron reached out for Spencer's hand resting on the back of the couch and carefully entangled their fingers. "Yes, Spencer, I'm sure. One hundred per cent. Do I know how we'll make it all work? No. But I'm sure that between the two of us, we'll figure something out and you're probably one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I'd be an idiot to toss such a gift away. We both know that there are no guarantees, but I want to give this our absolute best shot."

Spencer's breath hitched, and he suddenly looked more open and vulnerable than Aaron had ever seen him. "I'd love that. Date on Saturday sounds great." He swallowed and regained some of his composure. "What did you have in mind?"

“No clue yet, but I’ll figure something out. Or is there anything in particular that you’d like to do?” Aaron offered lightly.

“No. It doesn’t have to be anything special, just time with you is already great.”

“I’ll let you know then.”

“Yeah, okay.”

They sat there for a few long moments just looking at each other, each adjusting to the fundamental change they had just agreed to. Aaron was happy to let Spencer be the one to break the moment. He sure didn’t want to throw him out.

"Right," Spencer eventually cleared his throat and started to stand up. Their fingers were still entangled, and Spencer leaned forward, mirroring Aaron from two weeks earlier. "Thank you for taking this chance on me." There was the ghost of a kiss on Aaron's cheek, and then Spencer was out of the office, leaving Aaron to gather his wits about him.

* * *

Aaron ended up taking Spencer to an upscale Indian restaurant that had readings of local writers in between courses. It was a perfect choice as it gave them plenty of opportunities to talk and impetus to turn those chats away from work.

They hadn’t touched much throughout the evening, though Aaron hadn’t been able to resist placing his hand at the small of Spencer’s back as they walked and pulling out his chair for him, a gesture that earned him a thoroughly amused smile from Spencer. They were in the car on their way home when Aaron felt Spencer’s slender fingers sneak around his resting on the gear shift. Aaron just gave them a light squeeze, telling him that they were welcome there.

It did present him with an interesting conundrum when they arrived at Spencer's building and got out of the car. Did he want to offer Spencer his arm on the way up to his apartment, or did he want to hold hands some more? The decision was taken away from him by a snort from Spencer, and his hand held out with wiggling fingers.

“Come on, Aaron, you can walk me up, but I was raised with way too much of what you would think of as old-fashioned chivalry to find it as charming as the women you’ve dated in the past.”

“Wow, you’ve just robbed me of my special weapon when it comes to dating. What am I supposed to do now?” Aaron asked playfully but also reached for Spencer’s hand before it could be withdrawn again.

“You’ll just have to wow me with your personality. I’m sure you can manage,” Spencer teased.

They made their way up to Spencer's apartment in comfortable silence, and Aaron waited until Spencer had his door open and the alarm disengaged to step a little closer into his space.

“I had a lovely evening.”

“Yeah, me too. It was easily one of the best dates of my life,” Spencer agreed.

“So, you wouldn’t mind doing this again?” Aaron hedged.

"I would very much like to do this again. I can't foresee a time when I wouldn't want to do this again, to be honest," Spencer answered and stepped even closer to Aaron.

They were now close enough to feel each other's breath on their faces. Aaron had no clue who leant forward first, and he didn't care either. The only thing important was that Spencer's lips were on his, and they opened eagerly to his probing tongue. Spencer must have turned them because Aaron suddenly found himself pressed against the open door, which was convenient as the kiss made his knees go weak.

Spencer pulled back earlier than Aaron would have liked but didn’t step out of the embrace of Aaron’s arms. He looked dishevelled, breathless and flushed, just like Aaron felt; it was a good look on Spencer.

“Wow, yeah, let’s do this again lots of times.” Spencer grinned.

Aaron tried to pull Spencer closer again. “Right now? You didn’t have to stop, you know.”

"No, not right now." Spencer slapped Aaron's shoulder playfully. "Right now, you have to get home so Jessica can get enough sleep before her day trip tomorrow, remember? You promised her you wouldn't be too late."

“Right. I forgot that for a moment.” Aaron took a deep breath to get himself back into a resemblance of order. “Do you want to join us tomorrow? Jack wants to go to the Smithsonian.”

“I’d love to; if I’m not intruding on father-son-time that is.”

"Not at all. Jack loves to have you around, and it's not just because he loves your answers to just about every question he can come up with. We always like to have you along."

“Okay. Do you want to meet there?”

“No, we can pick you up. Does ten work?”

“Absolutely. I’m looking forward to it.” Spencer pressed another chaste but promising kiss against Aaron’s lips before shoving him gently out the door. “Goodnight, Aaron.”

“Goodnight.”

* * *

Things were astonishingly easy from there.

Jack already liked Spencer a great deal and was excited to have his dad finally date someone. He hadn’t even blinked an eye at the fact that his dad was dating another man. Aaron hadn’t expected a big tantrum over it, but Jack took it in stride more easily than he’d expected.

Dave grumbled and complained some when he had to start signing off on all of Spencer's paperwork but was too pleased to make any sort of real fuss about it.

They held off telling the rest of the team for a little while, but by the time they came clean, nobody even pretended to be surprised. The hazards of working with profilers.

Aaron had expected that he'd have to do more of the work to keep their relationship going, that he would have to prod Spencer more, given everything Spencer had told him. But Spencer pulled out his tried and trusted coping strategies of making schedules and sticking to them, and it worked really well. It might take some of the spontaneity out of it, but Aaron liked structure himself, and it gave their relationship more balance, so it was an easy sacrifice to make.

The biggest cloud on the horizon came whenever someone would comment on their age gap. It wasn’t even that people were mean about it, but it always reminded Aaron of the inevitability of him growing older while Spencer didn’t. And sometimes the fear crept in that one day, it would become too awkward, too difficult to explain, and that Spencer might move on to his next identity and leave Aaron behind. These thoughts usually hit him in the middle of the night, when he couldn’t sleep. They were easy to push aside when he looked down on Spencer’s unruly curls snuggled against his shoulder, Spencer’s body more relaxed than he had ever seen him before. Spencer was happy, he told Aaron so all the time. They’d figure it out.

About a year after they started dating, Aaron stumbled into a stack of Spencer’s books in his living room because he had to navigate around Jack’s current Lego construction. He surveilled the cramped room and all the signs that Spencer spent an awful lot of time with them rather than at his own place and sighed.

“How do you feel about moving in together, finding a bigger place for all three of us?”

"Can we?" Jack asked, excitedly. "Can we get a house with a garden? And a fireplace? And can I have a bigger bedroom? And a library for Spencer?"

Aaron was ignoring Jack’s question for the moment and looked at Spencer, who had slowly closed his book.

“It’s a big step.”

“Yes but you mostly live here with us anyway.”

“I know. If I’m annoying you, you can tell me.” Spencer fidgeted with the bookmark Jack had made for him.

“That’s not it at all,” Aaron assured him. “I want you here. _We_ want you here. But here happens to be a bit small for the three of us and all our stuff. I can get a house for Jack and me, and we keep going like this if you prefer having your own place to retreat to."

“No. I… I feel better when I’m with you guys. My apartment makes me feel… almost lost.” He shrugged, unhappy with his choice of words.

“That’s settled then. We’re going house hunting.”

“Yay!” Jack abandoned his building project to dance around the room as far as that was possible and hug them both repeatedly. “I’ll start a list!” He dashed off to his bedroom and returned with paper and a pen.

“What list are you making?” Aaron wanted to know.

“A wish list of all the things our new house should have, so we don’t forget anything.”

“We should probably ask Derek first, see if he has anything suitable,” Spencer suggested. “He’d be deeply insulted otherwise. And he knows the market around here pretty well.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Aaron leaned down to kiss Spencer. “Are you really ready for this?” he asked quietly.

“Absolutely. I’ve been living, really living much more since you two became a part of my life. It might be selfish, but I always want more of that.”

“Sounds like a good and healthy thing to be selfish about in my book,” Aaron agreed and gave Spencer another kiss before they both joined Jack on the floor to make a reasonable wish list for their new home. Landing pads for UFOs didn’t make the cut. Neither did a moat.

* * *

Jack had jumped out of the car before Aaron had even turned off the engine. He was so proud and excited about the news he had to tell Spencer, he’d been practically vibrating in his seat the whole way home. The only reason Aaron managed to catch up with him was that he didn’t find Spencer straight away.

“Spencer? Where are you?” Aaron followed his son’s voice. “Papa! I have to tell you something amazing. You won’t believe it! Where are you, Papa?”

They eventually found Spencer in the master bedroom where he had clearly been folding and putting away the laundry. But now he was sitting on the edge of the bed, shock and wonder fighting on his face before Jack even had a chance to share his good news, so Aaron had no idea what that was about. Luckily, Jack was too caught up in his own excitement to notice.

“Look, Papa, here!” He held out a piece of paper for Spencer to read. “I made the maths team to represent our entire school! And all because you helped me and taught me all those tricks for how to do maths in your head real fast. It worked! I made the team! Thank you, Papa!” Jack threw his arms around Spencer and Spencer just about managed to return the hug.

"That's awesome, Jack!" Spencer sucked in a breath and regained some of his composure. "Well done! I'm so very proud of you. You worked really hard to get this far, and you deserve to be on this team. Good job!"

“Yes, we’re very proud of your hard work, Jack. But your shoes still don’t belong in the bedroom,” Aaron pointed out.

“Oops, sorry, Dad! I forgot.”

"I know." He jerked his head towards the door, and after one last quick squeeze from Spencer, Jack dashed off to put his shoes by the door where they belonged.

It gave them at least a moment of privacy.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked and settled carefully on the bed beside Spencer. “You look like a deer caught in the headlights.”

"Yes. No. In a way?" Spencer ran his hands through his hair and slumped in on himself. Eventually, he murmured so quietly that Aaron almost didn't catch it "I think the curse might have just been broken."

“What?”

“Remember that I described it like being hit by a storm?”

Aaron nodded.

“It felt like that again just now. But rather than blowing things over me, I feel like the wind is taking all the fog I was trapped in away.” Spencer looked at Aaron pleadingly, searching for confirmation where there was none to be had.

“I guess, only time can tell,” Aaron offered. There was really nothing more he could say. “I want you to be right, of course, I want this to be real. But how would my son making the maths team lift the curse from you?”

“What did he call me?”

"Oh." And then it dawned on Aaron. "He called you papa. He's never done that before. He asked me months ago if I would mind and if I thought you would mind, but then he never used it, and I didn't bring it up."

 _“And never shall a child claim you its father,”_ Spencer quoted. “Am I taking this to literally? Is it just wishful thinking that it might be this simple in the end?”

“I don’t know. You know better than me how uncertain such things are when magic is involved. But it makes sense. An awful lot of sense.”

“So all I needed to do all this time was find a child to call me father, and that would have been it?!” Spencer sounded at the edge of hysterics and Aaron couldn’t blame him.

He pulled Spencer into a hug and held him until his breathing was calming down again.

“I would think that Jack doing it out of his own volition and meaning it with all his heart played an important part. The curse said _claim_ not just _call_ , remember? If we’re right about this whole thing, Jack’s feelings for you and the role you have in his life probably were the fuel behind this curse breaking.”

“You’re probably right,” Spencer whispered into Aaron’s neck. “I still can’t believe that it might be actually over. How can I ever thank you enough for raising such a wonderful, loving boy?”

“That’s easy. Just keep loving him the way you already do. What more could I ever ask for?”

Spencer buried his nose a little deeper in the crook of Aaron’s neck and let himself be swayed back and forth.

“Did I do something wrong?” came a timid voice from the open door.

"No, Jack, everything is fine." Aaron waved him over, but Jack would only come to about arm's length.

"I'm sorry if you don't like being called Papa, Spencer. I won't do it again. I kept meaning to ask you, but I didn't know how, and today I was just so excited that it slipped right out."

Spencer surreptitiously wiped his eyes on Aaron’s shirt as he sat up. “You did nothing wrong, Jack. And I’d be honoured to be your papa and for you to call me that. I just got a little overwhelmed because I was so surprised, that’s all.”

“Really? And I can keep calling you Papa?” Jack edged closer.

“Yes, please,” Spencer said with a wide smile and pulled Jack into another embrace, this one much warmer and longer.

“And will you come and see me compete?”

“I wouldn’t want to miss that for anything in the world,” Spencer told him earnestly. “Now, where do you want to go for dinner to celebrate your big success?”

"Can we go to the diner that has those thick-cut fries and the extra-large ice cream sundaes?"

“Absolutely.”

They had a fun evening with too much food and Jack recounting all the tasks they had to do during the selection process for the maths team. Not that he hadn’t given them a complete retelling the day of the test, but they dutifully played the captive audience again.

Getting Jack to bed that night took a while, but Spencer's never-ending repertoire of bedtime stories to tell proved up to the task.

Meanwhile, Aaron was contemplating if tonight was the right moment for one more life-changing question. When he made his way down to the living room, he found Spencer already on the couch.

“Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you had gotten lost.” Spencer smiled at him, tired, but happier and more openly than Aaron had ever imagined possible.

“I needed something from my dresser,” Aaron said and settled down besides Spencer who immediately cuddled into his side.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” 

Before he could talk himself out of it again, Aaron placed a small, velvet-covered box on Spencer's knee. Spencer grew very still as Aaron flicked the box open to reveal two simple platinum bands.

“Let’s grow old together.”

Spencer reached for the box and pulled it close to his chest before looking at Aaron.

“Yes, growing old with you sounds just about perfect.”

THE END

  
  



End file.
